It’s been quite a week! This time last Thursday, my knees were like jelly and my toes were all a flutter. Why? Because I was standing next to Nigel Farage. But also because I was about to land the biggest bombshell on the Westminster elite since a young chap called Charles the First rat-tat-a-tatted on the door to the Commons chamber in 1642 and demanded that the status quo be kept and even turned back a bit. (not the pop band Status Quo! They're not quite as old as that!)* Nobody forced me to resign. I did it all by myself and tellingly NOBODY tried to stop me. You see I am really very tired of folk telling me that I am wrong and they are right and so I am going to prove them all wrong by proving that I am right, which I am by the way. Very, very right. As I walked with Nigel into the glare of the flashing lights from the Clacton and Frinton Gazette and a nice man from the Hertfordshire Mercury who had come down on the train especially, I had no idea that I would be quite so jolly busy!
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This isn't all about Europe! It's about me! And the failure to achieve lasting reform that will turn the clock back to 1950. Here's the Conservative manifesto 1950 If you can bear to read it you will understand why I felt obliged to quit. Our promise to "provide adequate grants for village halls" has gone lamentably unfulfilled and the plan to cut pensions to "26 shillings a week" has been wholly ignored. Vote UKIP and we will top that up to 27 shillings and a night of Bingo twice a year.
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I've made some super new friends this week and (as always) it is the little things that count. I was walking through the streets of Clacton just a day after my defection, when a passing lorry driver hooted his horn and made a repeated "V" for victory gesture while shouting "Lucking Thank Ya" over and over again. Somebody else stopped me and insisted that I take a leaflet about "Seventh day Adventism" - it was the only thing this kind old lady seemed to have and the gesture meant so much to me.
Thank you also for the lovely chocolates that were posted through our office door in an anonymous burning brown envelope! Delicious!
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So a very busy first week. Remember only by voting UKIP will you secure the future of your loved ones. Clacton and Frinton has been totally swamped by immigrants - particularly in the recent summer months - with tales of day trippers coming from as far away as Southwold before realising they had taken a wrong turn. With your help we can ensure that nobody will ever take a wrong turn again!
Dougie Carswell xxxx
* not that there's anything wrong with being old. Some of my oldest constituents are old.
Diary as told to Otto. No Douglas Carswell's were involved in the making of this blog.
